The first few months of Melody and Robert’s marriage were wonderful. Robert was loving, considerate and fun to be with. But as soon as Melody got pregnant, the violence began.
Robert would often abuse her emotionally – telling her that the baby was a mistake and that he would leave her. When Melody was seven months pregnant, Robert pinned her against the wall and violently attacked her. Unfortunately, the blows were so severe that she went into preterm labour and lost the baby.
Reading this scenario may have made you feel very sad, but this is what really happens in some relationships today. Clearly, abuse and violence are not healthy for dads, moms and their babies. Any amount of physical blows will be harmful to the baby and even emotional abuse can add to an expectant mom’s stress and also affect your baby.
When you become upset during pregnancy, your adrenaline-type emotions will affect the baby. Recent research has shown that stressful feelings experienced by the mother during pregnancy are related to problems in their young children’s behavior. High levels of stress may also put women at greater risk for preterm labour.
There may be many reasons for the occurrence of abuse and violence between partners during pregnancy, but some of the most common ones include the following:
- Couples become pregnant hoping that it will help to solve previous relationship problems. It doesn’t. Problems can become worse during pregnancy.
- One or both partners regret becoming pregnant. These feelings can be shown in abusive or violent behaviour towards each other.
- Hormone changes in expectant mother can cause out of control actions on her part. Dad, in turn, may lose his control, and this escalation becomes violent.
- A pattern of abuse already existed and is just continuing despite its effects on mom or the baby.
Don’t feel alone or ashamed if you are being abused. Doctors, emergency room personnel and counselors are aware that abuse and violence can occur between couples during pregnancy. These professionals are trained to provide help without blaming anyone. They are willing and able to assist you.
If you are worried about your partner’s hostile behavior towards you or are currently experiencing abuse, there is help available. Here are some of your options:
Call any of the following help lines:
- Assaulted Women’s Helpline 1-866-863-0511;
- Victim Support Line 1-888-579-2888 or 416-314-2447 in the Toronto area.
Don’t wait to get help if you are worried or hurting! These situations rarely get better without the guidance of an experienced professional.